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Friday, November 21, 2014

My Weight Loss Neuroses

We always look for quantifiable results in anything we do. Weight loss and fitness are no different, but I find we tend to look at one singular result for proof, the scale. I myself am not immune to this.

 

As a trainer and a woman, I would say 80% of people who talk to me about fitness and weight loss never really give themselves a chance. If your only goal is, I want to lose weight, or I want to tone up, you will probably never meet your goal. What is enough weight? How will you quantify that you are trim enoughMany of my clients come to me to lose weight, but they stay with me because of the strength gains. I find that most people enjoy the idea of their strength rather than their skinniness.

 

The Scale and I have history!

Ohthat damn scale. I see you there judging me.

 

When I was younger I was much heavier, at least 30lbs. I was very active as a kid and teen. I played competitive softball year round. I enjoyed weight training, and preferred staying busy than being a couch potato. But even with all my activity my diet was less than desirable. I didn't know that then, but looking back maybe all the after school Hot Pockets (LeanPockets lol) and cheese sandwiches did little for my health. The funny thing is, I never really realized I was heavy. I don't think I truly understood until I lost weight, the second time.

 

When I turned 18 I decided to join the Army to be a medic. Upon arriving at the military entrance processing station I was told that my body fat percentage was too high. At that time I was 185lbs and 32% body fat. So I did what any person with little knowledge about weight loss would do. I went on a diet and ran, a lot. Two months later I had lost 30lbs and was eligible to join the army. I body looked nothing like what I look now. I had gone from normal fat to skinny fat.

 

Even after basic training and a deployment I managed to creep my way back up to 178lbs. It is crazy to think with mandatory physical exercise and the hard work performed while on deployment to Iraq, I could manage to gain weight. Even though I exercised more and knew a little more about weight training you can't out train a bad diet. It did not help that my days in the weight room were goalless and inefficient. It was more a way to pass the time than a true regimenIt didnhelp that my main way I worked to lose weight was through long cardio sessions. Which I now know is a very inefficient way to lose weight.

 

My lifestyle didn't really change until I met my husband, who like me, was a former fat kid. When I met him he was only 7% body fat and took a Nazi approach to diet and nutrition. Thank God whave met somewhere in the middle over the years. I also made the transition to a 70:30 approachMy workouts are 70% of serious weight training comprised of specific goals and 30% cardio consisting primarily of high intensity intervaltraining and some LSD (long, slow, distance) cardio. This has allowed me to get back down to my initial army weight. The funny thing was even though I weighed the same as when I entered the Army I wore a smaller jean size, I looked leaner,and I was way stronger than when I entered the service. When I joined the Army I could barely do 3 push-ups (the minimum to join). Now I can regularly do 45 push-ups on PT tests.

 

My Body Dysmorphia

 

It's funny I think of myself fat more now, than I ever did when I was fat. I am just like everyone else. I have an image in my head of what I want to look like, and not that the image is unreachable, but sometimes I think we overlook the process in pursuit of the number. I still have not reached what I deem my ideal body, but I do appreciate and find value in my long developed physical strength. And honestly, I would much rather be able to deadlift 300lb (only 60lbs away from that goal) than just be skinny. I have to take a step back sometimes and redirect my effort away from the ideal, which will come with time, and focus on my short-term goals.  It seems that the less I dwell on my size and gear towards strength and power, the more my physique gets closer to that ideal.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have days when I look in the mirror and can only think how fat I am. But I have more days that I look in the mirror and admire how sculpted my shoulders are getting, that I see a nicer butt forming, and that my tummy is a little tighter. I would love to say that I never get down on myself,and every day I workout is easy.  But it's not true. Sometimes I really have to dig deep to get myself to train. But in the end I always feel better after I finish a workout.

 

Often we are our greatest enemy in the gym. Our heads get in the way of achieving personal greatness. In the end, we have to remember that the scale is only a number. Icantell you if your body fat percentage has improved (reliably), if you are stronger, if your clothes fit better, if you can run faster, or how much weight you can squat.  When you change the rationalfor working out that is when you will see the real 


achievements. Happy training! 

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